You Don't Know Who I Am
by EnglishSwede
Summary: When Rinaldo Pazzi's son dies, he has to try and keep his poor wife sane and also support his daughter. But thats hard to do when his son's ghost keeps coming about. Song from 'Next To Normal'


A/N: I got this inspiration from the play 'Next To Normal' and the song is 'You just don't know who I am'. What is happening is that This wife has two children and a husband. When the son dies she is always thinking she is seeing him and its tearing her apart. Her husband is desperately trying to help her and she thinks he doesn't understand. Their daughter just thinks her mother is a wacko. I am using two unfamiliar faces. Rinaldo and Allegra Pazzi, they are from the movie and book Hannibal and I just love them. My friend and I role-play them. I'm going to make up children for them, because actually they have none. They live in Italy and are…well Italian xD.

RinaldoxAllegra

Sophia Pazzi was sitting on the couch, she was sixteen, and her dark hair was pulled up into a bun as she was writing in her journal. Her grey eyes followed her pen as she wrote her words of what was going on and how she missed her brother. She heard a timer go off in the kitchen and she turned her attention to that.

"Mom, are you making something?" Sophia questioned, not having heard her mother even go into the kitchen. Allegra her mother popped her head out from the kitchen, she took medication because of her depression. Sophia's brother who was only a year older than her had died a year ago. Her mother was so depressed and so was her father Rinaldo. Rinaldo was an inspector and was just trying to keep his family together. Sophia of course missed her brother but in a way was jealous of him as well.

"Shhh you'll ruin the surprise darling" Allegra smiled and then disappeared back into the kitchen. Sophia sighed and shook her head. Not saying anything more, then again she didn't care what the surprise was. She heard the front door open to the house and knew her father was home. Rinaldo was a bit older he had blue eyes that seemed to glow when he was angry Sophia noticed. His hair was graying and he was not the tallest man. Though he held much power and was an inspector in the police force.

Rinaldo let out a sigh and took his coat off and hung it up, revealing his badge and gun on his hip he took his sunglasses off and saw his daughter on the couch. He went over and kissed her head gently.

"Hey dad, mom has some surprise, she doesn't want anyone to see so don't go in the kitchen" Sophia said as she got up and then let out a sigh. "I'm going to go take a shower" Sophia rounded her way around the couch before moving past her father. Rinaldo let out a sigh and was tempted to go to the kitchen but shook his head and just went to his room and passed his son's room on the way, he touched the door as he passed and it hurt every time he did pass it, though he didn't show it.

As dinner time came around Rinaldo and Sophia heard Allegra call everyone into the dining room. Sophia and Rinaldo entered and saw a bunch of food on the table, noting it was all Antonio's favorites. Then there was a big cake with candles on it there was eighteen. Both Rinaldo and Sophia let out sighs and Allegra just smiled. Rinaldo looked to his wife concerned yet with a stern look as well. Sophia rolled her eyes.

"Great more praise for the dead brother" Sophia rolled her eyes and simply left the room, that's when it hit Allegra that her son would not be joining them for dinner and cake. Rinaldo wanted to yell at his daughter but simply let out a sigh and bowed his head for a moment before looking back up to his wife. Rinaldo's hands were on his hips and he saw how crushed Allegra was.

"Allegra I know this is hard, but this has to stop…You've been fine for so long now" Rinaldo said as he started to her, Allegra became blank and she held to the back of a chair.

"Oh really, what all do you know?" Allegra asked him in a flat voice, not blinking. Rinaldo sighed as he stood in front of her.

"I know you're hurting…I'm hurting too" Rinaldo stated just as stoic as she was. Allegra cocked her head to the side.

"Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head? Or perhaps you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?" Allegra asked him as tears began to form in her eyes and Rinaldo let out a sigh as he listened to her. "It's like living on a cliff side not knowing when you'll dive, do you know?" She asked and pushed him back a bit so he wouldn't be so close to her. "Do you know what it's like to die alive?" Allegra asked sternly as she refrained from letting her tears escape.

Rinaldo took in a deep breath to keep from exploding he had to be the gentle man towards his hysterical wife he knew that, things were going so well for a few months and now this. Rinaldo said nothing and picked up the cake and began for the kitchen with it, Allegra followed him.

The ghost of Antonio showed up and stayed out of sight from his mother, he only allowed her to see him because he was so attached to her.

"When the world that once had color turns to white and gray and black, when tomorrow terrifies you but you'll die if you look back!" Allegra followed him back into the dining room as he was trying to stay calm and ignore what she was saying but he listened to every word. He began to stack the plates on the table.

"You don't know!" Allegra accused him and this got his attention. "I know you don't know, you say that you're hurting but it sure doesn't show. You don't know. I swear you don't know when you say 'let go' and I say…You don't know!" She finally let out a few tears as she held to a chair. Rinaldo felt hurt by her for saying he didn't know her pain. He was startled when she flung the chair out of the way and it hit the wall.

"The sensation that your screaming but you never make a sound" Rinaldo shook his head and scoffed as he began on the plates and napkins. "Or the feeling that you're falling but you never hit the ground, it just keeps on rushing at you. Day by day by day by day! You don't know, I swear you don't know Rinaldo, what it's like to feel that way!" Rinaldo was stopped abruptly when she stopped his hands from picking things from up off the table and then she grabbed all the utensils and pointed them at him.

"Like a refugee a fugitive, forever on the run, if it gets me it'l kill me! But I don't know what I've done!" Allegra threw the utensils at the wall and Rinaldo then spoke up.

"Can you tell me…What it is you're afraid of?" Rinaldo asked stern and then went out to touch her gently but she was afraid and moved from his touch, covering her body. As if she was being feeling violated in some way. "Can you tell me as to why I'm afraid it's me? Can I touch you? You were fine for so long now…How can something go wrong that I can't see? Because I'm holding on" Rinaldo let his shell crack and he was gentle towards her. "And I won't let go" he said gently and gently caressed her cheek even though she flinched at first, tears streamed down her face. "I just want you to know, I am the one who's helped you, I am the one who cares I am the one who's always been there." Rinaldo said softly and pulled her into his arms and she closed her eyes and looked away.

"I am the one who loves you and if you think that I just don't give a damn, you just don't know who I am" Rinaldo said and then was pushed away from her as she went to sit down. Rinaldo paced for a moment and that's when Allegra saw Antonio in the corner, he was angry and stared down at his father in anger. Rinaldo was becoming angry himself as he couldn't get through to the love of his life.

"Would you leave me?" Rinaldo asked her yet her eyes stayed in the corner of the room where Antonio was.

"Hey dad it's me" Antonio said in a whisper, only Allegra could here.

"Would you let me go onwards?" Rinaldo asked and Allegra dropped her gaze to the ground.

"Why can't you see?" Antonio asked as he looked to his father and started towards him. Rinaldo looked to her and circled her as she sat down looking to the floor. The two men of her life were fighting over her love. She didn't know what to do she just tried to stay calm.

"Would you watch as I drown and wonder why?" Rinaldo asked her angrily. "Are you bleeding?" Rinaldo bent down to her. Antonio slammed his hands on the table across from them and Allegra jumped but Rinaldo neither heard nor saw anything.

"Are you waiting are you watching or wishing knowing she can't give?" Antonio growled at his father.

"Are you bruised are you broken?" Rinaldo asked and then stood "Well so am i! Tell me what to do!"He said and then Allegra felt a gentle hand and looked back to see Antonio holding it and smiling down to her. "Because I'm holding on!" Rinaldo said and bent down again. Antonio smiled to his mother.

"And I won't let go" Antonio assured her softly. Allegra sniffled and looked back to her husband.

"I am the one who loves you I am the one who cares, and if you think that I just don't give a damn" Rinaldo growled slightly agitated.

"You don't give a damn" Antonio yelled at his father.

"You just don't know who I am" Rinaldo said and shook his head to his wife. He was down to her level again and rested his head on her shoulder, trying to catch his breath. Allegra took in a few breaths.

"You say you hurt like me…You say that you know" Allegra pushed her husband off her "You don't know! I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW" she yelled and Rinaldo got up and pulled her close to him.

"Allegra I know, I do know darling!" he said soothingly but was just pushed off again.

"You don't know Rinaldo! You don't! You don't feel anything I feel, I know that, because of how you act and everything. You hate Antonio! You envy him and-and-and" She sobbed and leaned against the wall behind her. Antonio went to her and wrapping his arms around her, only she could feel and see. Rinaldo frowned and he sat down this time.

"You just don't know" he whispered to himself and held his head up with his hand as he closed his eyes, feeling so hurt and feeling even worse as he couldn't help his wife who was in such distress.

"You just don't know who I am" Antonio growled at his father and then continued to sooth his mother.

Sophia listened from her bedroom, it wasn't like she couldn't hear everything they had been saying they didn't hide their anger and words. She wiped a few tears and then she grabbed a bag and began to pack her clothes into it.

A/N: I totally used most of the lyrics to the song in this dialog haha, because it can't not, not be in there. Anyways I hope you liked it, and it will be continued I promise.


End file.
